Therapy For Men
in Boulder, Colorado
having trouble understanding your experiences and identifying your emotions?
David Lieberman, MFTC
David Lieberman - family therapist - licensed professional
As men, we are often socialized to believe that our power lies in anger and that emotions signal weakness. Heartfelt communication is often missing from our early experience. As a result, we may be drawn to be strong, stoic, and macho—taught to handle things “like a man.”
Yet we can be visited by depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and relational struggles—all potential costs to constraining ourselves to a narrow view of ‘manhood.’ No matter how you identify and regardless of race, orientation, and background, you deserve to feel seen and heard in your challenges.
You may find yourself wishing you were more in touch with your emotions or better able to experience your feelings in a meaningful, authentic way. Is it possible to be both a ‘good guy’ and listen to what your anger has to say? Can you find balance as an employee, entrepreneur, or athlete while giving yourself space to rest and reauthor the narratives you have dutifully subscribed to? Can you be a tender, connected, loving partner and parent while making space for your authentic and aspirational individual desires?
A Collaborative Approach to Therapy
As a therapist, I am not too interested in pathologizing symptoms or trying to characterize your obstacles as what all men experience. Rather, I want to co-explore with you the unique values, perspectives, and goals that will enrich and open your life to new, more expansive possibilities. Therapy for men at People Not Problems facilitates exploration as you consider the pros and cons of loosening gendered expectations in favor of a more authentic way of being.
“If All You Have Is A Hammer, Everything Looks Like A Nail”
– Maslow’s Law Of The Instrument
It is common for men of all backgrounds to struggle with accessing the core emotions below our go-to feelings—like anger. Those of us who are socialized as men are given very few tools for emotional exploration and expression, often causing us to respond with anger or frustration when faced with vulnerable connection.
And why wouldn’t we feel this way? From a young age, so many of us were told to “rub some dirt” in our wounds or not to “cry like a girl.” Surrounded by images of what society defines as masculine, we develop insecurities around our body image, sexuality, and emotions.
Through this binary conditioning—masculine versus feminine—we develop the belief that there isn’t space for nuance. For instance, how is it possible to be a ‘guy’s guy’ with an appreciation for sports and other ‘macho’ activities while simultaneously being a tender, open partner to our significant other(s)? Even within our most intimate relationships themselves, we can be given mixed signals, telling us to be strong and capable and also sensitive.
Therapy is a chance to examine and reauthor the thin and constraining parts of your story. Together in counseling, we will challenge the narratives surrounding what “real” men look like, making space for empowerment as your whole self—and not society’s expectation of you.
therapy for men at People Not Problems
You may not have been given permission or many opportunities throughout your life to pause, relax, and explore your experiences. Whether you’re feeling held back by others’ concept of how you ‘should’ be or hoping to challenge a story you’ve told yourself, therapy for men is a valuable chance to redefine your relationship with yourself and others.
Therapy for men offers a valuable opportunity to:
Redefine your relationship with yourself and others
Work individually or with monogamous/non-monogamous partners and families
Access in-person or online therapy sessions
Benefit from a therapist with business experience, ideal for entrepreneurs and executives
Experience kink-, poly-, and culturally affirming therapy, welcoming men from all backgrounds
Though my approach tends to integrate multiple people in the session—monogamous couples, non-monogamous partnerships, and families—online and in-person therapy is available for individual men. Due to my background in business, I’m a good therapeutic fit for entrepreneurs, executives, and other career-motivated folx. And because I am a kink-, poly-, and culturally affirming clinician, I welcome men of all backgrounds to join me in counseling.
join the Boulder Men's Group today
Looking for a supportive space to connect, share, and grow with like-minded men?
The Boulder Men’s Group offers a confidential environment to explore life’s challenges and build deeper connections. Whether you’re navigating stress, relationships, or personal growth, this group can help you thrive.
men’s therapy in Boulder Co.
my approach as a systems-oriented therapist
As a systems-oriented therapist, I believe that authentic connection through relationships is key to joy. By co-exploring what it means to be both tender and tough, you can develop stronger connections to others in your life. From our counseling conversations, new possibilities may emerge, unrestricted by “acceptable” masculine norms. Your unique strengths and attributes can be brought forward
understanding emotions and narrative therapy
When working with men, recalling constrained stories allows us to delve beneath anger, a common go-to strategy. Our sessions explore connections between thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Narrative therapy helps separate the person from ‘the problem,’ focusing on stories formed when disconnected from societal expectations of how to live, love, and thrive.
vulnerability and emotional growth
Through therapy, we explore how the stories we’ve been told shape our response to vulnerability. Rather than suppressing emotions and sticking to intellectual narratives, therapy creates space to reflect on tenderness, vulnerability, and authenticity. Many of my clients—whose core emotions were once shamed—have discovered more tender connections with themselves and others
empowering men for authentic living
Counseling has helped many men I work with live fuller, more authentic lives by accessing a broader range of emotional awareness. Navigating self-esteem, anger management, and self-awareness can feel daunting, but therapy helps men uncover deeper truths about themselves.
addressing substance abuse and healthy masculinity
In therapy, men often confront issues like substance abuse and societal pressure for a narrow definition of masculinity. Whether through individual or group therapy, this focus on self-awareness leads to profound revelations. By embracing vulnerability, men can feel more fulfilled in their relationships and connections to others.
healthy masculinity and relationship dynamics
The complexities of life often manifest in relationship dynamics, illustrating how we engage with our identities. Co-exploring vulnerabilities in therapy empowers men to cultivate healthy, authentic masculinity, improving their connections with themselves and others.
recent posts you my like…
you may have concerns about going to therapy…
-
While we as a society are slowly chipping away at stigma around mental health, misconceptions about therapy still exist—especially among men who are historically conditioned to feel averse to emotions. The truth is that most of us wrestle with stress, mental health obstacles, or the feeling that we’re living out of alignment with our core values.
As a male-identifying therapist, I understand the unique narratives we are given as men. Our time in counseling will be spent co-exploring those narratives that no longer serve us and overcoming their limitations so that you can become at peace with the congruence between your thoughts, emotions, and experiences.
-
Counseling is an investment in yourself. In therapy, you are not just reaping the benefits of what you realize during our sessions together—you get to bring your perspectives with you into other areas of your life. This may help you to be a more connected partner or friend, a more present father, and a more authentic, less restricted embodiment of yourself. From that perspective, you might agree that counseling is invaluable.
-
If you are concerned about the time commitment of therapy, keep in mind that virtual appointments are often available. These HIPAA-protected sessions can be conducted from wherever in Colorado you can access the Internet. Hopefully, this helps you feel more comfortable in the counseling space and reduces the overall time spent commuting.
write your own story
As men, we are socialized with many narratives about what is acceptable, but narrative therapy is a chance to reauthor—and embrace—your unique story.
Let's check if we are a good fit. I am currently taking new clients, and appointments are typically available within one week.